This post is about the loss of family member and may bring up feelings for anyone who has lost someone they love. It’s been over four weeks since our beautiful Miss Soho passed away, and it’s been hard to even imagine posting here during that time. I’ve questioned why I am writing this blog and whether I can even continue it at all.
Our relationships with our pets are so intimate and so truly special. In my experience, it’s the closest we get to unconditional love. Unlike our relationships with humans, our relationships with our pets may remain unchanged for the duration of their lives with us – they don’t grow up and leave home, don’t move away or grow tired of us. They remain our companions, dependent on (or sometimes dominating) us throughout their lives. No matter how long they may live, it is never long enough.
Soho came into my life over fifteen years ago and in close proximity to two gorgeous cardigan corgis Madison and Augustus (who both sadly also passed away within the last 12 months). They have been a constant, unfaltering source of love and companionship through the loss of close family members, through moving house, unemployment, divorce, remarriage – through lots of hard times and many more incredible times. They have touched the lives of so many people – at different times living with us, with my ex-husband and his lovely wife, with friends and housesitters – and they have been well loved and will be sorely missed by all. That said, the intricacies of our relationships with pets are often “secret” and very close to our hearts. Unlike with friends and family members, there may never be any public displays of the deep love we feel for them – particularly with indoor pets who don’t accompany us into the outside world, visibly celebrate our milestones with us, or go through any of the rites of passage that our human relationships go through. And so too when they pass away, our mourning is quiet and almost secret. Despite the deepest feelings in our hearts, outwardly their passing does not carry the same weight as the loss of a human.
The emptiness in our home and our hearts since the loss of Miss Soho has been so devastating, and at times the despair runs quite deep. Life in the outside world goes on. We are privileged to have so many beautiful friends who have checked in on us as we have grieved. But at home, in what should be our safest and happiest place, there is a big gaping hole. I’ve done this before – lost humans and beloved furry friends – I know it does get better with time. But for now it just really hurts.
For several weeks I’ve really pondered how to go on with this blog – what do I say next? How do I put on a smiley face and showcase an awesome feline find when I feel this way? I know everyone who has experienced grief will understand this. But focussing on the things you love and enjoy is the best way to deal with loss – and this blog is all about the things I love most.
Miss Soho inspired me with her beauty, her uniqueness and her delicate spirit. She was a little pink marshmallow of happiness in our lives. I loved having her with me as I started this blog – quietly present and unconditionally approving. She loved sunbeams, horizontal scratching posts, mohair blankets and tuna. The simple things in life. Just as I love all things feline. Through me her story will continue. Normally programming will resume later this week.